What am I up to?

What exactly am I doing in Swaziland?

The last three blog posts I’ve done have been sort of serious, so I thought I’d do one that simply describes some of what I’m doing here in Africa for my internship. 

I am the writing intern. Yes, it is an intentionally vague title. I’ve done a variety of writing since I’ve been here: blogging, profiles, and reflections. My first assignment has been gathering information on each of the 35 little ones at the El Roi Baby Home and constructing uniform biographies. Since each has a unique story of how they got here and the amount of written information on he/she varies, it’s been a bit more challenging than I originally thought, but still a joy to put together. The biographies include their Christian name, the Biblical namesake behind it, who named them, their Swazi name and its meaning, and a short summary of the baby’s journey to Project Canaan. One of my most favorite parts of this whole project has been reading the Bible as I research the babies’ Christian names. For example, one baby was named after Anna the Prophetess from the Gospel of Luke. She only is mentioned in three verses, but she is said to have been a fiercely devoted follower of God and predictor of Christ’s coming. Though I have read Luke many times, I couldn’t recall Anna’s story prior to researching her. And it’s been that way with many of the other babies, too. I have a very neat job!

I'm also involved with TOMS & FMSC. Heart for Africa is a partner of both TOMS shoes and Feed My Starving Children. Once or twice a year, they send in reports detailing their outreach partnership and successes/hardships. I’ve been given the opportunity to put some of these reports together, which has proven to be quite awesome. In writing these reports, I encounter and get to tell some of the most precious stories of how HFA has been able to reach out to the community. Not only have they given away thousands of shoes just this summer, HFA in partnership with TOMS has been able to keep kids in school, furthering their education and benefitting the future of this country, since children must have a pair of shoes to attend school and some pupils would not have any otherwise. Feed My Starving Children, a faith-based organization, helps HFA distribute some 74,000 hot meals per week to the surrounding community. UH, THAT’S AWESOME! The manna packs are filled with nutritious food, which will keep the students wearing TOMS healthy enough to continue thriving at school.

I get to follow Mrs. Janine Maxwell around. Though I do love the writing part of my internship, perhaps the most incredible part of my time here has been being able to tag along with the superwoman who is Janine, the co-founder of Heart for Africa and “leader of the pack”. Talk about a woman after God’s own heart! She has followed Him thousands of miles away from her home country pursue His true purpose for her life. And boy is she motivated to do whatever He may ask. I told her last week when we were venturing into town to visit a pregnant girl (whose baby, Daniel, is now at El Roi) that it’s as if the hand of God just sits on her shoulder as she goes about her business in Swaziland, making a way for her in the darkness and connecting the dots of His will. She has a triple-A personality combined with a fierce love for Christ; Janine is absolutely fantastic at what she does. I am so thankful to be able to learn from her.

I am living with some awesome people. There are ten of us in total. Four interns: JD, Danny, Danielle, and myself. We all live at the Lodge, which is in a top corner of Project Canaan, with some other long-term volunteers. Danny is from Missouri and is the farm intern; he helps out with various things on PC, such as fixing engines, changing oil on farm equipment, burning firebreaks, and helping with harvesting. JD—from Pleasanton, California—and Danielle—from Missouri—are the trip interns. They spend half of their time at the Lodge and the other half at the Lugogo Sun Hotel with the trip participants who fly in every other week, helping out with trip logistics. Mike & Austin are here until December, and have been here since early 2013. Mike—from Wisconsin—operates heavy machinery, and he’s been clearing several spots for construction while I’ve been here. Austin, from my hometown of Alpharetta, Georgia, is here helping with carpentry; anything from baby cribs to kitchen cabinets. Shelby and Riley, recent high school graduates, just arrived and are here for six months working at the baby home. And finally, Jimmy (HFA’s president) and his wife, Chrissy, are also back-and-forth between the hotel & Lodge, supervising the incoming volunteer trips and planning for the next one in-between.

It’s been an absolute blast getting to know everyone. We have some of the most entertaining dinner times I’ve ever been a part of (just picture 10 people trying to cook at once) and I’ve learned a million new card games since arriving (no TV means no after-dinner movie!). They are some of the most genuine, selfless, and joyful people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, and we all have bonded greatly in the span of two short weeks. We have wonderful fellowship times where we talk about our relationships with God, and we also have times where all we do is laugh at one another for being silly.

It’s a beautiful thing to know that God has purposefully brought us all together from various places and different walks of life for just short period of time to bond and serve together.

Living on a farm in Africa is an adventure. Living at the Lodge, though extremely nice when compared to most living conditions here, has been an adventure in itself. It’s the middle of winter here, yet there are more spiders hanging from our ceilings than I’ve ever seen in the US. Being the nerdy girl I am, I don’t mind them (and think they’re actually pretty cool) but it’s still kind of unsettling when you leave the kitchen to go to your room and almost run into a large orb spider hanging inches from your face. Oh hey there!

There isn’t heat or air conditioning, so it can get pretty chilly at night. I sleep with four blankets on my bed and I am dressed in pajama pants & a shirt, my Patagonia fleece + fuzzy socks, and still find myself getting cold sometimes. The wind is a bit unpredictable too. For a few nights during the first week, Danielle and I (the only ones living in the girls dorm at the time) would be woken up at night as our door was blown open by the wind. So, now we have to barricade our door each night with a chair…just to keep out the wind! We’ve had a few cold showers here and there, just to keep things interesting. There are occasional bad smells in the bathroom and surprising water pressure changes. And if you hang up your clothes to dry and forget them overnight, they’ll be wet again in the morning. Always an adventure!

Compared with the rest of the farm, though, the Lodge is a tame place. Last week at the Farm Manager’s Building, they caught a 20ft python that was just chilling in the bushes nearby. Don’t worry; it was escorted off of PC to go live on a reserve so the babies at El Roi need not fear.

The walk to and from anywhere else on the farm from the Lodge is quite a hike, considering how we overlook most of the property up here. I definitely think I will come back to the US not only in better shape mentally and spiritually, but physically as well! If you read my “A Walk to Remember” blog, that experience really made me thankful for the phenomenal transportation system we have in the States. Dirt roads, though more scenic, definitely make walking & driving more of a ride than a drive.

I’m having the time of my life. Though I’ve been faced with tough situations and have been dealing with my own life problems, I could not be in a better place right now. Being surrounded by loving, Godly people who make you laugh on a daily basis is just the medicine a soul needs to heal and be renewed. I get to love on 35 of the cutest little ones you’ve ever seen and write about their stories. I get to learn about and be moved by the country of Swaziland. I get to reach out to the surrounding community with the love of Christ. And oh, it’s a marvelous thing to be a part of! I know God has me here for a reason and I take comfort in that when I get sad or homesick. I hope to return so filled up with purpose that I continue to serve Christ daily back at college, at home, and wherever I may go.

Thank you to all who have been keeping up with and praying for me…I am incredibly grateful to have such utterly amazing people in my life. I love you all!

XOXO,

Audrey

His Ways Are Not Our Ways

This week hasn't been the easiest. Not only have I come into first-hand contact with tough situations, but I've also been dealing with hard feelings of my own.

It's difficult to explain, but Africa does things to you. Here, it seems like I can hear God's voice more clearly than when I'm in the US. I believe this is for two reasons: (1) When you're in a 3rd world country, there are far less distractions; no social media, no TV, no Internet, no constant texting, and isolation from your normal life. (2) When you're pouring yourself out each and every day doing the Lord's bidding, you’ll find His influence sits more prominently in your mind than before. When I say “God’s voice,” it isn’t a literal speaking voice in my head—though some believers do experience it in that way—but rather an influence: I think of things I wouldn’t normally think of, make connections that were previously unknown to me, etc. It’s difficult to explain in words, as are most dealings with the Holy Spirit, but I am confident that God is speaking to me, and my hearing is heightened here in Swaziland. Isolation always leaves room for thinking, and thinking causes one to review their previous decisions as well as plan for the future (or maybe that’s just what I, a super-planner, do J). Isolation while serving the Lord allows God’s voice to permeate through that thinking process, and so influence further decisions. In simple terms, my time away in such a Spirit-filled place has allowed me to think about my life: past, present and future. Sometimes this brings joy in the anticipation of what God has planned for me, but other times it just troubles me. For the past few months, I’ve felt some unrest in my mind. It’s really hard to put to words, but it’s something like a dark cloud covering up the night sky. I’ve been very frustrated with it because everything in my life seemed fine I wanted to know what it was at that very moment (I’m kind of an impatient person & want to resolve stuff here and now). But, I realize now that God’s timing & reasoning is not our own, which ties right into the two difficult situations I’ve experienced this week.

Situation 1 involves a young pregnant girl. At only 20, a year older than me, she has two kids and a third on the way. She lives in a tiny room and, according to American standards, should be hopeless. Janine came into contact with her a little over a month ago by way of the social services office because she wanted to give the baby she was pregnant with to Heart for Africa to live at the El Roi Baby Home. With no job, no education, and two kids already, she realized that this was the best option for her next child. So today, after taking her to be induced yesterday, we finally got to pick up the newborn. After arriving at the hospital, we waited for a bit and then headed to the maternity ward to see mother and her newly born son, which she had named Blessing in SiSwati (uhh, WOW!). Janine talked to her again, making sure this is what she really wanted, and the young mother never faltered when saying “yes” to us taking him. Though she was confident in her decision to let her child go to a loving, Jesus-filled home, I was a bit shaken in this moment. I am a full-hearted believer in adoption, but it was really hard to look at mother & newborn and then take the little bundle of joy away that she worked so hard to deliver only hours before. But what selflessness she has in knowing that the child will be in amazing hands at Project Canaan! I was speechless as we took baby Daniel (his Christian name) out of the hospital and I held him all the way home. What a day.

Situation 2 is that of Nomsa, Janine’s dear friend at the tuberculosis hospital. I won’t go into detail about her whole story, as you can learn about that on Janine’s Wednesday blog (wednesdayswithnomsa.blogspot.com). In short, Nomsa has been in and out of treatment for TB for the past two years after spending the majority of her young life trying to simply find a way to live. The ward, though full of windows that overlook the beautiful Swazi countryside, is a grim place. She has seen almost everyone she’s met there either die or be discharged, leaving her alone and depressed. After reading about her for the past few months, I was overjoyed to finally meet her last week. And what a joyous, beautiful woman she is! To have gone through what she has and have the strength to say, “God is good,” just gives me chills. This week, as we were taking the pregnant girl and her child to get a prenatal checkup, Janine got a call from Nomsa: bad news. Nomsa’s culture for multi-drug-resistant tuberculosis had come back positive, meaning she would have to stay at the hospital for at least another eight months. Now, Janine is one of the strongest women I have ever known, so to watch her cry immediately after hearing this news really shook me up. We drove right away to the TB hospital to comfort Nomsa, bringing her what we Americans use to comfort ourselves: cake, fried chicken, fries, and soda. As we got out, Nomsa walked towards us, crying and clearly distressed. For a long while, Janine and her just stood & embraced, crying together as good friends do in times of trouble. I spent the rest of the visit hanging out with Nomsa and Bongiwe, one of the baby home Aunties who had come with us. What really happened, I should say, is that Bongiwe was absolutely amazing in comforting Nomsa while I stood there attempting to process everything that was going on. Janine met with the nurse and doctor, trying to come up with a plan so that Nomsa would not lose all hope & run away to die. Though Nomsa was in visibly better spirits when we left, all of our hearts were heavy for her.

In both situations, the question “Why?” sat foremost in my mind as I tried to rationalize what was going on.

“Why does this girl have to give up her baby, Lord? Why can’t you provide her with enough resources to feed her three children and prevent the break-up of this child and mother?”

“Why, Lord, does Nomsa’s culture have to be positive? Why couldn’t you have healed her, God? Why has she had so many heartbreaks in 25 short years?”

“If you are a Good God, then why all of the pain?”

“Why, Lord?”

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

    neither are your ways My ways, declares the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

    so are My ways higher than your ways

    and My thoughts than your thoughts.”

              -Isaiah 55:8-9

Oh, how I have grown to treasure this verse. There’s my answer.

One of my best friends, Marisa, told me of me of a saying that compares our problems to a hand. If we hold our hand close to our face, it seems big. But, if you were to look at that hand from fifty feet above, it would not seem as terribly significant. I like to think of our pain and suffering like that. We can only see the pain and suffering near to us, blocking our vision to what else is going on. But the Almighty God, infinite in His knowledge and wisdom, sees our problems in their relation to His perfect plans. We may never know the “why?” behind the agony of this world, but we can rest assured that the God who Sees, El Roi, knows exactly what He’s doing.

“We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear

We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love

As if every promise from Your word is not enough

And all the while, You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe”

-Blessings, Laura Story

It may only be the second week of my internship, but I feel as if I’ve gained the experience of many months already. I am on an incredible journey and am learning so much about what it means to follow Christ on a day-to-day basis. Thank you for keeping up with my via my blog J

With love,

Audrey

PS – This article (https://bible.org/seriespage/facing-your-feelings-14-dealing-disappointment) is quite a fantastic read. It definitely helped me in sorting through my emotions after this week.

Also, if you’re looking for songs to help you through a tough time, see below:

“Blessings” Laura Story

“Trust and Obey” Hymn

“Cornerstone” Hymn (Hillsong version is great)

“Beautiful Things” Gungor

“How Deep the Father’s Love for Us” Nichole Nordeman

“You Revive Me” Christy Nockels

“Sing Along” Christy Nockels

“By Your Side” Tenth Avenue North

A Walk to Remember

The view is breathtaking.

Across the mountainous horizon, the sun hang lows, illuminating the late afternoon with an orangey hue. A slight breeze plays with my hair and sends me hints of citrus; the once-distant orange groves are getting closer. A long, bumpy stretch of reddish dirt road lies before me, set between fields of fruit on both sides, beautiful in its simplicity. Despite my scenic surroundings, the only thing I can process is the pounding of a heartbeat ringing in my ears as I encourage myself to keep power walking. At the head of our band of six is a small, older Swazi woman in her sixties. On her back is a purse, its handles being used as backpack straps; she carries a jacket in her left hand and a blanket in her right. She seems to be moving at a normal pace, until you see the four Americans scurrying desperately after her, like ducklings following their mother. Another Swazi woman follows our group, desperately trying to hold in her laughter as these white kids gasp for air and stumble in front of her. We’d been walking for what seemed like ages and still had an hour or so to go until we reached our destination: the home of Mona Lisa, the fastest sixty-something-year-old you’ll ever meet (and one of the most joyful El Roi Baby Home caregivers).

For nearly two hours we walked like this, near the point of collapse as Jimmy, Heart for Africa’s president, surprised us in his car and took us the rest of the way to Mona Lisa’s homestead. The trek we’d just experienced, nearly exhausting for Americans, is her daily commute to and from her job at Project Canaan. She gets up at three in the morning in order to make it to El Roi by seven a.m., having to make breakfast for herself and seven grandchildren, all orphaned by HIV/AIDS. Mona Lisa has one of the most fantastic smiles I’ve ever seen, and never complains (except when she told us that we were too slow!). We spent some time talking with her once we arrived, and I was blown away by her happiness in such humble surroundings. She has seen such tragedy in her life, having to bury  five of her own children, and yet she remains so very joyful, hardworking, and strong all for her grandchildren’s sake.

She is the definition of selflessness.

She is a reflection of Christ.

“Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”

            - Philippians 2:3-8

Though I only got to spend one afternoon with her and few words were exchanged, Mona Lisa taught me what true love is. She loves her grandchildren so much that she gives everything she has—time, strength, energy, money, and food—to ensure that they will survive and thrive. And you know what? She is one of the happiest people I’ve ever met, no doubt because she is doing exactly what the Lord asks of her.

As I reflect on my time spent with such a phenomenal lady and continue on with my summer here in Swaziland, I must ask myself these questions:

(1) Am I living for my own pursuits, or am I living to fulfill the Lord’s pursuits?

(2) What will it look like for me to give Him everything I have all the time?

Thankfully for me, I have two more wonderful examples of Christ-following individuals right here in Swaziland who followed God’s will and gave Him everything. Absolutely everything. Ian and Janine Maxwell, the founders and leaders of Heart for Africa, closed down their incredibly successful business in Canada, moved away from family, and eventually ended up nearly seven thousand miles away from home to start their work on Project Canaan in 2009. Now, four years later, they are seeing just the beginning of God’s amazing plan for this nation, all because of their obedience.

I pray that I can seek Christ’s plan for my life with bravery and faith like Mona Lisa and the Maxwells, but I’m sure my summer internship is a step in His direction.

Thank you to all who have reached out to me with encouragement and prayer; it means a lot and I definitely need it!

With love,

Audrey

Surprise! Cold showers are actually, in fact, cold.

I was told it wasn't that bad. 

They said, "If you can get through the first 45 seconds, you'll be fine!"
"It's a mix between refreshing and exhilarating!"
"It's not thaaaaaat bad, just make sure you hurry."

By "they," I mean the African-adventure-advice man I had invented in my head, and by "it" I mean a cold shower.

It most definitely was that bad.

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This morning was the beginning of my "first world problems" here in Swaziland. After a full night's rest at the Lodge, the interns and I got up to start our first full day at Project Canaan. I had tried to shower last night, but the water never got warm and since it was in the 40's outside, I was also a bit chilly already (we have no air conditioning or heat at the Lodge). So, I put off showering until this morning, when I was just sure the hot water would be back and I would have a nice long shower. 

Well, that didn't happen.

I tentatively stepped into the shower, turned the hot water knob all the way on, and immediately a plague of shivers was sent down my spine. I cowered in the corner as I stuck my hand in the stream, waiting for it to get warm. After a minute or so, I was relieved when I felt it get hotter and moved to stand fully under the water.

"Ahhhh!!!"

It hadn't gotten warmer, my hand had just gone numb. And as I jumped back into the corner, my shakes only got worse as I glared at that mean stream of cold water. So, instead of trying again, I shampooed my slightly wet hair, reluctantly rinsed it, and decided that a sponge bath would have to do for today.

After cleaning, dressing, and eating breakfast, I reflected a bit on my morning. My thoughts during the ordeal had been, "How dare I not have cold water! Isn't that like an American right when traveling?" but now, as I looked back at my ordeal and simply had to smile. As awful as it seemed for me to have to undergo a freezing shower, I remembered all I knew about the ordeals the majority of Swazi people have to go through on a daily basis. They don't have to take cold showers because they don't even have showers. They would probably jump for joy if given the use of a shower, regardless the temperature of the water! And here I was thinking I had just been given a taste of Hell via cold water. Ironic.
It was humbling, and it only being the first day, I'm sure I will have countless more "first world problems" to keep me honest during my time here.


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It may have been a small incident, but that cold shower ordeal reminded me of why I wanted to have this internship experience in the first place: as much "change" as we First Worlders want to bring to Africa, it is more often that Africa ends up changing us, and usually for the better. I believe I was led to this trip by God, and that He is teaching, humbling, and blessing me in ways I haven't known before in order for me to accomplish His will for my life.

I hope that in these next weeks I'll be brought out of my comfort zone ("into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is") in order to fulfill a greater purpose, but I'm hoping the cold shower lesson was only a one time thing :)


With love,
-Audrey Wright

Expectations

There are so many neat things about my internship; I can’t really think of anything I am not excited about! 

I suppose what I’m looking forward to most would have to be meeting the little ones of the El Roi Baby Home! I have been following all of their stories and praying for them ever since they opened their doors last year. It will be so incredible to get to know each of them while I put together biographies for them. I’m also very excited to be living on the Project Canaan farm; I am studying locally based agriculture in college, so the prospect of one farm feeding a small country is really cool & intriguing to me. Since I am a huge TOMS fan, I am looking forward to seeing the other side of the “One for One” campaign as I give shoes to those who have none and write reports about the process. And finally, I can’t wait to learn more about and be a part of the Feed My Starving Children program that, in partnership with HFA, serves 74,000 hot meals to children every week.

If you couldn’t already tell, I really can’t wait!!!